Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Fat Is Not a Fairy Tale
by Jane Yolen
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
where the princess is not
flinging herself down the stairs.
I am thinking of a fairy tale,
Hansel and Great,
Bounty and the Beast,
where the beauty
has a pillowed breast,
and fingers plump as sausage.
I am thinking of a fairy tale
that is not yet written,
for a teller not yet born,
for a listener not yet conceived,
for a world not yet won,
where everything round is good:
the sun, wheels, cookies, and the princess.
from Such a Pretty Face, May 2000
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
It feels so good to cry. . .
Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly--crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy--that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.
But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap--they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.
We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.
Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?
i started the day with tears. while i agree that starting every day as such might indicate a larger problem - depression, say - i think i just damn well needed to shed a few. i've been juggling A LOT over the past several weeks, the anxiety has been building and building and building, and the dam just crumbled this morning.. crumbled right into my coffee. i felt dumb about it, of course... and weak, and silly, and hormonal, but then i came across this thought for the day, and i felt a lot better about my little episode. from Hazelden.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
still no computer yet, but i'm actually gonna bite the big, scary bullet and buy a new one this weekend, so provided i can get the thing up and running, regular posting will resume early next week mehopes.
performing size ate over the past several weeks has been an invigorating, enlightening and exhausting experience (but in a good, spent-all-day-building-sandcastles-on-the-beach-way). i can't wait to do it again! but before then, i'd like to spend some time lollygagging on an actual beach, feet firmly planted in the warm sand, fingertips stained red from shelling pistachios. there will be a book, but i won't be reading it.
talk to y'all soon. i pinky swear.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
and that is not a euphemism.
who doesn't need more fiber in their diet? and who can't imagine this adorable little thing sitting on their desk? problem is, i don't think i'd want to ruin the display by eating it.
i'm sans computer this week. mine went pffft the moment i tried to upload some videos from the size ate shows last week. i'm hoping to be up and running again by the end of this week, but that all depends on the computer gods.
i'll say this: the shows at Drew University, Caldwell College and SUNY New Paltz went remarkably well. doing the show is always a bit of a freakout (scary) therapy (wonderful) session for me, but i'm always humbled by what i learn from the audiences, the questions they ask, the things i'm forced to re-think regarding my own recovery and how i portray that recovery in my show. more thoughts to come on that.
two more shows to go! Barnard College/Columbia University next Monday, March 9, and Immaculata College on Thursday, March 19. if you're in the area, and would like to attend either, please let me know, and i'll see if i can get you in.