fat isn't fat

ah. coffee. my lifeblood. gets the brain, the body...ahem, the colon...going. i like coffee so much, i sometimes go to bed looking forward to the morning b/c i know a cup of coffee awaits me on the other side of the moon. my mother was a coffee addict as well. like me, she always had one or the other in her hand 1. a cup of black coffee or 2. a glass of ice water. the only difference is i take my coffee with milk and some sort of carcinogenic sweetener (start my day off right, dammit!) and my mother's water glass always jiggled like a maraca w/ a bunch of little ice cubes. i don't have the luxury of an icemaker, and i'm just too damned lazy to make them in my eensy-weensy fridge freezer.

best place for coffee in nyc: empire coffee and tea on 9th avenue between 41 and 42 streets. it ain't no chain (tho' i think they do have another store in jersey or brooklyn or somewhere), they have a ton of amazing coffees and loose teas, the staff is hip, friendly, and mostly international, and unlike yuppie-bucks, they will put the milk and sugar in your coffee, like a proper new york coffee place should. my hand gets so tired stirring that little stirrer. (try their coconut cream-flavored coffee if you can. doesn't taste at all like suntan lotion.)

didja see the article in the nytimes yesterday about the results of a new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association? being a little overweight isn't so awful. actually, it might be good for you to carry a little extra weight, provided you exercise and eat right.

“what?” you say? “this little love-tire around my middle might not be the work of satan? my voluminous thighs might not hasten my death?”

nope. well, not accdg to a bunch of fancy docs, anyway. a few years ago the Center for Disesase Control launched a campaign saying, essentially, “WE'RE A BUNCH OF FAT PIGS! IF WE DON'T STOP NOW WE'LL ALL DIE IN SHAME, SOONER THAN WE SHOULD, AND OUR FAMILIES WILL HAVE TO SPEND MORE ON EXTRA LARGE COFFINS.” (remember the story of the guy that was so fat he had to be buried in a grand piano? i wonder if he was a fan of john tesh or more of a bobby short kind of guy?) obesity was, they said, the #2 cause of deaths in the u.s. (not to mention the leading cause of datelessness) anywho - this new study has bumped obesity to #7 and, the most remarkable thing is, using the government guidelines for weight (BMI or body mass index), they found that those people who were considered moderately overweight actually lived longer than those who fell within the government’s optimal weight range. now, they also found that death rates increased for those who fell below their weight range, as well as those that were considered obese, but those that were considered a little overweight, seemed to die, well...less...early. so, be a good little girl, and eat your dessert.

oh, pish. i'm not good at summarizing...i could go on and on and on, and still not clearly communicate the gist of the article, brevity is not my strongsuit, but the major point is, what the government and thereby we consider “normal,” needs reconsideration. (check out the article and a great graphic. search “obesity” www.nytimes.com)

egads. i was surprised by my reaction. rather than sense of relief or comeuppance, (“i knew it! my ample ass looks too cute in jeans to be lethal!”) i immediately reacted with a feeling of “oh no, they must be wrong. they're study must be flawed. being thinner is definitely healthier.” how could my little-bit-round body be “juuuuuust right?” scary. shouldn't be...but is. know why? b/c that might mean i'm enough, and then what would i spend my time worrying about? obsessing about? hell, being about? fear of fat is a hobby for me, for many of us. can you imagine if we all stopped being so fucking scared of of a little adipose tissue? my bookshelf would be practically empty. amazon might go out of business. i might have to love myself. i might have to accept myself. i might have to get a life.

oh shit.

do they sell those at amazon?



(i feel obliged to say this: now, of course, of course, you still want to eat right and exercise: eat tons of green veggies, watch your bad fat intake, take the stairs, not the elevator. this is not carte blanche to start eating like morgan spurlock in super-size me and be-bop down the street humming the theme from fame...i'm gonna live forever! but the truth is, and i'm speaking for myself here, i do all of that. i eat very healthfully, i exercise quite a bit, and my weight does not fall within the current standards of what the govt considers “normal.” it took too much work to be “normal.” and why be “normal” when you can order dessert?)