my stomach: gurgle, gurgle, pop, splat.

ever eaten a "nutrition bar" on an empty stomach?

don't.

i had one stashed in my desk at work from some "wellness seminar." i was starving, so i had a few bites. never again. those things aren't food, they're mortar.

anyway...

have a happy, happy friday, y'all.

do something you love this weekend: sleep in, rub a leaf of fresh basil between your fingertips and inhale deeply, buy yourself a coloring book and a Crayola 64, make a batch of homemade ketchup, take a walk in the sunshine (or in the rain, in flip-flops!).

i'm gonna pay someone to wash my hair with yumscious shampoo and blow it dry. i'm gonna make mojitos with the fresh mint from our herb garden and, well... that might be just about all i can handle this weekend. as lillian hellman once said, "productivity is not the only proof of a serious life."

amen.

what will you do?

and so am i.

from Yellowgoat's Feel Good series via Etsy

if i were wealthy, i'd buy all you ladies this necklace. wouldn't it feel great walking around with this on? just think about how many smiles you'd elicit!

3 awesome things about me?

i can make popovers from scratch.

i can still do a toe-touch (on a trampoline).

i am fiercely loyal and loving, usually brave, and very forgiving.

quick! tell me 3 awesome things about yourself!

don't forget to take your vitamins.

i tossed my vitamins onto the kitchen counter last night, and they scattered in such a way that i saw a little wonky face staring back at me. a few adjustments, and the reflection of the overhead light gave her earrings. it felt absolutely necessary to take a picture.

see what amazing things you can accomplish when you don't have a television?

southern comfort

5 years ago, i wore a lifejacket like a diaper and floated around the center of this lake while sipping on a margarita. i highly recommend it.

i'm headed to the mountains of north Georgia tonight to meet up with a gaggle of girls that i've known since i moved to Valdosta, Georgia in 1985. we were 10. i haven't seen most of them in 5+ years because they've been so busy breeding and feeding and raising their little aliens, they just haven't had the time or money to come up to NYC and visit with little old me.

sniff.

i'm kidding. no bitterness here. i don't think i'm meant to live in Georgia ever again, but it's always nice to visit. sweet tea, cheese grits, air-conditioning in every store, a Wal-Mart on every corner. i step back into the southern way of life like a Southern Belle steps into her hoop skirt. suddenly y'all becomes second nature again, and i am no longer a simple "fine" when someone asks me how i'm doing, i am a multi-syllabic and honey-sweet faaaaaayyyyyhhhhhhhnnnnnn.

we're spending our weekend at a cabin in the woods. there's a hammock, and a boat, a lake full of glistening water, (hopefully) lots of sunshine, not a little beer and a helluva lot of laughter. can't wait. i feel so stripped down, so bare, so essentially me when i'm there. sunkissed and windblown and tired from so much gut-wrenching laughter and from taking running leaps off the dock into the dark, cool water.

down, down, down to the mucky, fertile lake bottom, then up, up, up to the sparkling twilight and laughter.

i'm so looking forward to this trip. more than my other trips to the lakehouse over the years. i'm different now. most days, i'm in my body. truly in it, and most days, loving it. this time, i'm going to wear a swimsuit; and i'm going to let the sun hit my winter-white body; and i'm going to swim; and i'm going to let the rope hammock make little waffle patterns on my bare, barely-shaven legs; and i'm going to wear a bikini, and i'm going to let my belly be my belly, which is soft and slightly rounded like a belly should be; and even though i'm wearing a swimsuit (and still occasionally inclined to reduce my food intake in such attire), i'm going to feed myself, nourish myself, i am going to enjoy my food, revel in it, not nibble and sip on celery and water because that, my dears, is not of what vacations are made.

all of this, of course, unless it rains. in which case, i will spend 4 days sitting on a comfy sofa rehashing the old days over margaritas and Ro-Tel dip, but still, different than before. underneath that hooded sweatshirt, i am a different girl, a woman. in my body, loving it most days. sunshower or rainshine.

see y'all on wednesday.

the life philosophy of a baker

from Studio Mela via Etsy

these prints make me happy. don't they you? the top one definitely belongs in my kitchen.

setting the table for sanity.

i love this. can you imagine someone bringing you lunch like this? the ultimate exercise in creating a sacred space for eating.

it might be taking things to the extreme - why the hell not, i say - but it made me think about how important surroundings are when it comes to creating a nourishing meal for ourselves. it's not just about what's on my plate, but about the china plate that my meal is on; the shiny stainless steel fork; the chocolate brown cotton cloth napkin that rests in my lap; the candlelight dancing off the edge of my green glass water goblet that reminds me of the ones i drank out of as a child; the soft, soothing music in the background; the company of a loved one that makes me laugh between delicious bites - my surroundings are a big part of what has made my return to the World of the Eating so very marvelous and wonderful and fulfilling.

not to say i never eat a meal when i'm distracted oh, say... in front of the television watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but even when The Cute and I do that, we still set our places with cloth napkins, we still bring out the salt and pepper, we still pour ourselves cool, clear glasses of water. we (try to) pay attention to our surroundings. we try to stand on ceremony. in this day and age, i think it's important for all of us to do, but particularly important to someone who's recovering from disordered eating. eating and food and all the emotions that go with it can still be scary for me sometimes, so anything i can do to make my eating experience more pleasurable, more nourishing, more safe, more sane, more mindful, more celebratory. i think i should. consider it a welcome home party that never ends.

what are your surroundings like when you eat? how can you make your surroundings more safe, sacred and welcoming? do you have any mealtime rituals? are there any you'd like to adopt?

what's your favorite thing to eat in front of the TV? me? easy. vanilla ice cream with this caramel sauce. oh! and these Doritos. something wonderfully therapeutic about munching on crunchies and staring at moving pictures.