southern comfort

5 years ago, i wore a lifejacket like a diaper and floated around the center of this lake while sipping on a margarita. i highly recommend it.

i'm headed to the mountains of north Georgia tonight to meet up with a gaggle of girls that i've known since i moved to Valdosta, Georgia in 1985. we were 10. i haven't seen most of them in 5+ years because they've been so busy breeding and feeding and raising their little aliens, they just haven't had the time or money to come up to NYC and visit with little old me.

sniff.

i'm kidding. no bitterness here. i don't think i'm meant to live in Georgia ever again, but it's always nice to visit. sweet tea, cheese grits, air-conditioning in every store, a Wal-Mart on every corner. i step back into the southern way of life like a Southern Belle steps into her hoop skirt. suddenly y'all becomes second nature again, and i am no longer a simple "fine" when someone asks me how i'm doing, i am a multi-syllabic and honey-sweet faaaaaayyyyyhhhhhhhnnnnnn.

we're spending our weekend at a cabin in the woods. there's a hammock, and a boat, a lake full of glistening water, (hopefully) lots of sunshine, not a little beer and a helluva lot of laughter. can't wait. i feel so stripped down, so bare, so essentially me when i'm there. sunkissed and windblown and tired from so much gut-wrenching laughter and from taking running leaps off the dock into the dark, cool water.

down, down, down to the mucky, fertile lake bottom, then up, up, up to the sparkling twilight and laughter.

i'm so looking forward to this trip. more than my other trips to the lakehouse over the years. i'm different now. most days, i'm in my body. truly in it, and most days, loving it. this time, i'm going to wear a swimsuit; and i'm going to let the sun hit my winter-white body; and i'm going to swim; and i'm going to let the rope hammock make little waffle patterns on my bare, barely-shaven legs; and i'm going to wear a bikini, and i'm going to let my belly be my belly, which is soft and slightly rounded like a belly should be; and even though i'm wearing a swimsuit (and still occasionally inclined to reduce my food intake in such attire), i'm going to feed myself, nourish myself, i am going to enjoy my food, revel in it, not nibble and sip on celery and water because that, my dears, is not of what vacations are made.

all of this, of course, unless it rains. in which case, i will spend 4 days sitting on a comfy sofa rehashing the old days over margaritas and Ro-Tel dip, but still, different than before. underneath that hooded sweatshirt, i am a different girl, a woman. in my body, loving it most days. sunshower or rainshine.

see y'all on wednesday.