Tuesday, July 31, 2007

i'm baaaack...for today, anyway.

promises, promises...

so sorry i have been a lazy girl in terms of posting on the blog as of late. the past few months have been nuts at work - we moved from one big, labyrinthine building to another bigger, more labyrinthine building. i was involved intimately in the whole crazy-making process. this meant loads and loads of time spent in front of the computer. this also meant i had absolutely zero interest in spending any time in front of the computer after work for any reason - blogging, emailing, graphic design, lesbian porn (kidding, dad!). nothing. nada. nope. the idea of more time with a computer nauseated me. i even came to resent my Treo - "Satan's phone," i came to think of it. everyone, including Satan, can get in touch with you anytime, anywhere.

so anyway...

hi! how ya been?

so there's the work thing, and..and! i really am trying to spend some time figuring out what the next step is for size ate - the blog, the show, the Moi. the blog started as an online diary meant to share my neuroses surrounding body and food. the idea being that this would make it easier for me to then get up on a stage ALONE in front of 80 people and talk, act, dance, sing about it for an hour in my one-woman show. PRACTICE EXPOSING MYSELF is what this blog really should have been called. like a flasher-in-training. so i did that, and i did the show, and so...

now what?

hm. not sure.

the show itself has some performances coming up, and i'm planning on booking more so that's good...wonderful...great. i'm really looking forward to re-uniting with my "little bastard child" (as my friend coins those projects we deem "problems" but end up getting most of our attention, and in the end, our love, and so they turn out beautiful and well-adjusted and successful, or...in prison). i am such a different person now than i was when i first performed this show almost two years ago. the same in many ways, but oh-so-different and "grown" in ways i never could have imagined. i'm eager to see what sort of voice i'll give the show from this vantage point. and it's so very exciting for me, because this was always the point of the show; that it should be organic...growing, changing...juuuust like the human body. and it is. it will.

"snaps" for change!

i think my recent silence stems from uncertainty about what this blog is to be going forward. a diary? a resource? a forum? a bit of all three? should it be more structured or keep the same free-flowing whateverness it's had for the past 3 years? honestly, not a big deal. it really is just a blog, and who knows...my point is...i'm working on it. working through it. playing through it. getting my hands dirty and fingerpainting my future. so, my postings are gonna be messy, and infrequent and probably not quite clear, but i'm here, and i'll keep posting about body, food and culture and looking forward to hearing from you when something ping! resonates with you. it really has been the emails i've gotten from readers and YouTube viewers that have kept me going in my development of size ate. you dears, are The Fire Under My Ass. so, thanks. i needed that.

and yes, yes, yes...you nosey nellies who've asked, there still is the whirling dervish of laughter and curls...the boy who draws hearts on lattes and whose good-good heart and balsamic vinaigrette make me swoon. someday...i'll introduce you. ( :


PalmTreeChick said...

Well welcome the F back, margrocks! ;)

J-Jaye said...

Hmmm... well this nosey nellie is def. intrigued andhappy for you!!!! keep me posted and ENJOY!!!!! luvu!