Friday, August 29, 2008

angry friday

have you seen this shit? just the name pisses me off. made by Bliss Spa, i saw it yesterday when i was in Sephora, doing what every other woman was doing in there: preparing for a Thursday night out using free expensive makeup.

i literally gasped when i saw this on the shelves.

the blurb on the back of the FatGirlSleep is what really got my goat:
Get a full night's 'booty' sleep with this supercharged sister to our famed FatGirlSlim. Formulated with our encapsulated slenderiZZZe complex that releases dimple diminishers and soothing lavender for up to 6 hours, this ultra-rich cream helps make the most of your body's overnight restorative process. Good night, sleep 'tight' and don't let the bed 'blubs' bite.
"don't let the bed 'blubs' bite!!!" are you kidding?!?!?

and this comment from Susan, a FatGirlSleep user;
The emollient texture combined with the relaxing lavender scent sends me off to a dreamy sleep all the while working on my-well you know what.
"my-well you know what!"

your what? your vagina? oh no, you mean your CELLULITE because THAT is certainly a very, very dirty word right up there with STRETCH MARKS and LOVE HANDLES and BELLY BULGE.

i'm so happy i don't know Susan. i might punch her.

i don't have a problem with the cream per se. at certain times in my life, when i'm feeling less than toned and lovely, i might very well give this sort of cream a shot. i really don't care if it's all about the placebo effect. sometimes the placebo effect is worth the money, but please, don't call me FAT and don't talk to me like i'm an asshole.

bliss. blissfully ridiculous.


Danielle Mari said...

Oh come on... it may well be the precursor for the much-needed "DumbAssSmart" cream I've been hoping to apply to 50% of the population (starting with the advertisers and media).

hope505 said...

I'm fairly sure thqatq the name of this product is a tongue-in-cheek reference to this guy:

Who is a wonderful DJ.
* : )
(Though I usually refer to him by his given name, Norman Cook).
I bought a product from BLISS called "love handler", yes, an equally-annoying name for the product - anyways, I really liked the minty, invigorating feeling it gave my skin, so I thought I'd try another something else from their line of stuff...
For the record:
FatGirl Sleep smells disgusting! *hahaha!* I live in the desert, so I had to order it from Sephora b/c we don't have a store in my town, or in any nearby town...and...dammit! I can't find the return label to send that vile stuff back!
* : (

John Meyer said...

Has this substance been approved by the Food & Drug Association (FDA)? My gut feeling says, NO.

Anonymous said...

Danielle, you are a genius.

hope505 said...
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