Thursday, January 19, 2006

happy birthday to me.

pre-rollerskating birthday brownie courtesy of the urban family

went rollerskating last nite in celebration of my 31st birthday. 31! can you believe it?

me either.

have to say...i'm only happy to be getting older. you couldn't pay me to go back to the scared 25-year old i was six years ago. sure...i've discovered a wiry gray hair, i've got "expression lines" on my forehead and my knees don't handle running quite as well as they used to, but i (heart) myself sooooooo much more now than i ever have. i'm getting to that place of bien de sans peau or "comfort in one's own skin." i have bad days, of course. we all do. actually, today was sort of a "fat day," but the difference is i'm learning how to take care of myself on days like today. my journal entry this morning:

i feel chubby and do i stop this feeling from affecting my entire day in a negative way? 1. i wear clothes that are comfortable 2. i drink a lot of water 3. eat wholesome foods and 4. no drinking tonight. ha. oh - and lipgloss - lotsa lipgloss. that's key.

i also got a massage unlike any i've ever gotten this afternoon. egads...the power of touch. we forget how important touch is especially when we don't have a siggy other to snuggle with. kinda sux, but ya gotta schedule that in and oftentimes pay for it. to save money, i think i'm just gonna start hugging random people as i walk down the street.

excuse me, i haven't had my daily dose of touch today. do you mind hugging me in an engaged yet non-threatening platonic manner? point is, i like this getting older gig.

last nite, i told my friend, r, that i remember lying in bed the night of my 5th birthday, spreading my left hand out like a starfish and whispering to myself in the dark as if i'd discovered something earth-shattering:

"wow...i'm a whole hand."

now i'm six whole hands plus an index finger (or a middle finger. depends on the day.)

ah well...the better to eat chocolate with.

No comments: