please recycle.

see? you can have much more fun with toilet paper than with diet books.

yesterday was one of the first absolutely stunningly beautiful spring days we've had this year. i mean STUNNING. i was positively bowled over by the sunlight, the daffodils cocking their little bell-shaped heads, the tulips with their mouths gaping wide as if they're actually eating sunlight. a delicious day. if i could eat it, i'd bet it would taste like fresh sweet peas... or a stalk of asparagus spritzed with lemon...

i'm guessing it was the contrast between the bright, sunny beauty of the outside and my dark, crowded apartment that inspired it, but i wasn't in my apartment for more than 10 minutes before i started maniacally purging my place of all the unused THINGS - pulling books off shelves, clothing out of closets and beauty products out of cupboards - tossing them all into garbage bags and boxes. the plan was to take them to the salvation army, but then i decided pish on that! it's time to have a stoop sale! make a little cashola, ya know.

as i was going through the books, i was sort of surprised by how many diet books i found. i thought i'd tossed all of those suckers from my shelves ages ago, but obviously not. i found quite a few. interesting... i thought i'd really truly let go of the diet mindset, but i obviously hadn't. they were, i guess, sort of like my safety blanket. if this whole intuitive eating gambit doesn't work, i must've thought, i always have Bob Greene and Those French Ladies Who Never Get Fat to snap be back to reality.

no mas!!!

they have been banished from The Shelves. only self-loving, mind-expanding books there, please.

so, anyway... i was planning to sell those books on my stoop, but then Emily over at It Has to Start Somewhere left a comment on my blogpost about the South Beach Diet's "Festive Yogurt" this morning. i went to check out Emily's blog. her most recent post serendipitously said this:

I purged last weekend, but not in a bad way. I was doing some spring cleaning, and reorganizing my bookshelves to accommodate a bunch of new reading material I've purchased over the past six months. And while not alarming in number, I did notice that I have quite a few books on diets. And by diets, I mean fairly restrictive eating and exercise plans that are nearly impossible to maintain over a lifetime. I was struck with the realization that this may be one of those 'garbage in, garbage out' kind of things. Those books peer out from their shelves at anyone who uses my living room. Perhaps it is not the healthiest thing to have all of my past fails at diet attempts staring me in the eye when I'm trying to relax.

I contemplated boxing up the books and donating them to the library. But then it struck me that perhaps this may just perpetuate the problem. Maybe I'm just adding proverbial fuel to the proverbial fire by passing along material that is essentially weight loss propaganda. So, instead I took my box of books to my local recycling center. I was thrilled to see that my books could be recycled into something that may actually benefit my fellow citizens.

brilliant, right?! off to the recycling bin these books go to be "recycled into something that may actually benefit my fellow citizens" right-o. like toilet paper.
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i won't be posting for the next week. off to the beach! and yes, i'm feeling some body anxiety about the whole bikini thing. even though i've lost some weight in the past few months, my abdomen hasn't seen sunlight (or the gym) in about 9 months. but, i'm breathing, and bringing along a one-piece "safety suit" that might not be as sexy, but makes me feel just as pretty, and allows me to focus on feeling the sunlight and the wind on my face, and not on figuring out the most effective method for reducing jellyrolls.