Monday, July 28, 2008

could the jeans be higher-waisted?

all four of us girls greatly contributed to the depletion of the ozone layer with the creation of those hairdos (note the Diet 7up in hand).

looking at this picture makes me a wee sad, and it has nothing to do with the acid-washed denim, brick wall bangs or the Sun-In bleached hair - although all of that is bloody awful too.

this picture was taken about a year after my first flirtation with anorexia. by this time, i was seemingly well-adjusted, at a healthy weight and into my first year of high school. yet if cameras could freeze thoughts as well as images, and you could peel back the photo and peer into my mind, you'd see a mind graffiti'd with a litany of lamentations. SO UGLY. SO FAT. SO DUMB. SO UNPOPULAR. and yet, there i was... so pretty, so healthy, so smart, so popular, but completely unable to see it. blind to it. just about how a freshmen girl in high school is supposed to feel, i know, and i don't know that you can raise a daughter who won't ever experience a lick of self-hatred or self-doubt, but i just wish i could step into this picture, sidle up to 14-year old me, and whisper into her ear:

it gets better, beautiful girl, i promise.

8 comments:

Mis said...

If only someone could have been whispering in ALL of our ears....

Ann said...

Wow. That's the girl I remember: so smart, so beautiful, so funny, so together, so popular, so SPARKLY. Just goes to show you never know what's in someone else's mind..

And yes, the jeans could have gone higher, but the most heinous fashion atrocity was probably happening below the frame: pegged cuffs. Ugh. May that never revisit us again.

-Ann McCranie

Danielle Mari said...

I recently had the same experience upon seeing a photo of slim, healthy me as a young high school athlete in my volleyball uniform. I remember thinking I was sooo fat when it was taken. Now I look at it with absolute wonder that I felt that way. I was slender and so ... well... pretty.
It made me stop myself from so easily thinking, "I'm fat" when I look at pictures now. In twenty years, I could be jealous of what I have now! It taught me to try hard to enjoy myself as is right now no matter what.
You are beautiful- all of you!

Lisa said...

Thank you for reminding me to tell my younger sisters how amazing they are.

margrocks said...

yeah, missy. i'm sure we all could have used a little guardian angel sitting on our shoulders telling us how miraculous we were. too bad we couldn't really talk about it in a way other than, "i'm so fat." "you ARE not. I'M fat." ugh. but then i guess that's why i'm doing what i do. i'm hoping the show will start the HEALTHY conversation about body image and eating.

SPARKLY, ann? i love that, and thank you. possibly my favorite adjective. pegged cuffs indeed! with white scrunch socks.

you're absolutely right, danielle. i didn't think about it, but wow, is this ever a reminder to cherish and appreciate the body i have NOW b/c in 20 years, i'll wish i had. i don't want to have that regret again.

lisa - tell 'em loud, and tell 'em proud... even if they roll their eyes some of it has to sink in!

"the cute" heh... that's so sweet you would call me that. said...

maybe it's because i was born in '72, but that's some hot marge. bangs and acid wash and all.

haith said...

haha, just saw a pic of katie holmes with boyfriend jeans...TIGHTROLLED!!!! taken recently! ann...it's baaaaack.

Palmtreechick said...

Those jeans are HOT!!!

I look back and think the same things.