you have no free will.
the sooner you accept it and just "float" a la Holly Hunter in the brilliantly funny, appropriately-named movie Home for the Holidays, the better (or at least more sane) your experience will be. and maybe, just maybe, if you let It all go...all those ideas of what Christmas is supposed to be like with your family, you'll find a different It that fits just fine. It may not be what you expected. you might get tinsel, when you expected garland, but hey...they both sparkle.
and if that philosophy doesn't work, there's always the fully-loaded Christmas punch.