i can't be clever; i have cramps.

aunt flo arrived in all of her vermilion glory this morning. she's such a show-off.

i sat down to eat dinner tonight, and i thought to myself,

"i feel so fat and miserable. what's wrong with me?"

"you're supposed to feel this way, dummy. you're on your period. the fact that you're feeling this way proves your normalcy. if you felt slender and euphoric, i'd be concerned. it'll pass."

"oh, yeah...right."

i immediately felt better. funny when you give yourself permission to feel a certain feeling how that feeling almost immediately diminishes. the bad ones anyway. or maybe it's just that instead of feeling dumb for feeling fat and miserable, i just feel fat and miserable, which doesn't seem like much of an improvement, but it is. minus one is only minus one, but it's still minus one.

Fat and Miserable are just annoying houseguests; i have to tolerate them tonight, but i can get through it because i know that they won't be here when i wake up in the morning.

i am slowly killing them with a lethal cocktail of ibuprofen and dark chocolate M & Ms.