no millinery for meeee

moi...in a cloche

it is absolutely gorgeous outside. sunny, but not humid. luckily, i spent my morning laying (lying?) in my backyard, soaking up some vitamin D, digging my toes into the soft grass, reading the most charming book - I Capture the Castle - sent to me by my dear friend L. because while the rest of the world churns their ice cream makers and shakes the water off that second beer they just pulled from the cooler, i am wasting away in a cavernous office building, inhaling recycled air, having just eaten a bran muffin the size of my head.

if you know me you know this is HUGE. my father and i wear the same size hat. those exquisite little millinery creations in saks fifth avenue never fit my noggin. after years of hopeful attempts, i don't even bother trying them on anymore as it's easier than dealing with the pitying or shocked glances from the petite ladies behind the counter. it's a shame. i've always longed for a chic, fitted cloche. they don't make cloches for GARGANTUAN CRANIUMS, apparently.

(oh, but take a look at theeeese hats . they are the most precious hats in the world! i took a floral ribbon design class with this woman a few years ago - jasmin zorlu. she's just as precious as her hats, and as elfin as you might expect a cloche-designing millinery-maker to be.)

i suppose cloches aren't the best idea for a woman of my statuesque proportions. being my head the size that it is, what i really need is one of those gigantic, wide-brimmed hats that could shield my entire body (and probably several others) from inclimate weather and maybe, make my head seem not so...very...Brobdingnagian. then i could be the heroine. when the rain started to fall, i could play the role of a benevolent benefactress and offer all of the little people in their little cloche hats, shelter from the storm.

or i could just walk around sipping mint juleps and lamenting our loss in The War Between the States.

either one's fine. i just want the hat.