Tuesday, May 10, 2005

sucking q-tips

sometimes, it just sucks.
sorry for not writing yesterday, but it sucked. it didn't suck rainbow lollipops, or creamsicles, or old-fashioned soft peppermint sticks that dissolve onto your tongue into a strangely satisfying gooey, though powdery icy yumminess.


it sucked, to be totally and completely crass, balls.

and i don't mean gum balls, people!

dad used to get very angry when i said suck. sorry, pops. sometimes it's the only way to truly describe the, er...well...absolute suckiness of a situation. i'm a grown up now, i can say suck all i want to - SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK! SUCKITY SUCK SUCK SUCK.


riiiiight. you're a grown up now.


i made a decision that hurt the feelings of someone i love very much. so that sucks. and it was done unintentionally. so that sucks more. blech.

what can a girl do?

put the sucky day to bed after a couple (okay, five) spoonfuls of leftover green buttercream frosting, that's what. one of those self-medicating habits that i know will make me feel like a swollen sugar sponge the following day, but at the time - feels...so...good.

awoke this morning with a cat sleeping on my face (that kinda sucked) and a slight sugar hangover, but managed to rouse myself from minor diabetic coma and into the sunlight for a whole wheat everything bagel with tofu veggie cream cheese and a hazelnut coffee with just an eensy-weensy bit of half and half, thank you very much - at my neighborhood bagel place - Brooklyn Bagel. i am officially addicted to their WW everything bagels - my friend j. said it best - "they taste like salted and buttered popcorn!" and they do. paired with a cup of slightly sweet hazelnut coffee ya got the whole yin and yang/ salty sweet thing that isn't exactly macrobiotic, but sure makes my tastebuds zen-out. plus, they always remember my order, which in some weird way, always makes me feel like less of a sucky person.

it's amazing what a little sleep, vitamin d, and caffeine can do for a girl. i highly recommend them for those sucky days when you feel like a sucky person.

that, and a bowl of green buttercream frosting, if you happen to have any sitting around.


on a positive note, renee zellweger, the squintiest, er...i mean, skinniest actress i have ever seen got married this weekend to country singer kenny chesney. i can't help but wonder if she partook (that can't possibly be a word) in any wedding cake. highly doubtful. i saw their wedding photos online - i wonder if kenny realizes he married a q-tip. great for cleaning your ears and applying eye makeup, but not sure how they work out as wives.

i am a sucky mean person. definitely not a q-tip though. i'm more like a...loofah. abrasive, yet softens with time.

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