Monday, June 06, 2005

new legs


ahhh... love to feel the wind blowing through my hair.

ohhh...la....la.

i shaved my legs this morning, and it's such a fascinating sensation - hairlessness. remember Ambervision sunglass commercials?

"everything's so much crisper and clearer!"

that's how my legs feel. awake. sensitive. alive. new.

unearthed.

it feels so good, i really should consider shaving more frequently than my usual every 6 months. it's just such a pain.

i hate shaving. hate it hate it hate it. ironic, considering i couldn't wait to start at the tender age of 12. such a shame, in retrospect, as i had the most lovely, downy blond hair on my legs that just sparkled in the sunlight like little sheaves of wheat in a Provencal field (do they even grow wheat in Provence?). to a pre-pubescent though with hopes of wearing a mini-skirt on her first day of junior high, horror!

my mother told me i could wear makeup and shave my legs when i started the 7th grade. well, i had my blush, my mascara, and my lipstick lined up like little soldiers on the bathroom counter ready to be applied for the first day of school, but she hadn't let me shave yet because we didn't have any new razors in the house and she didn't want me to butcher my little legs with rusty razors.

the first day of school was the next day. argh! i couldn't stand it - the idea of being the only 7th grader with hair on her legs! so, i did precisely what my mother told me not to do - went into the shower, wielding a rusty razor, and went to work. i must've blocked out the specifics, but the shower had to have looked like a scene from Psycho, because i do remember having a giant gash down my shin that would not, despite compresses, 14 band-aids, and fevered prayers, stop bleeding.

mother was not happy when she discovered my little bloodbath. i don't remember her being horribly angry. she just handed me a styptic pencil from my dad's dop kit and told me to apply it to the cuts to stop the bleeding. ooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuucch! my comeuppance, i suppose, for blatantly disobeying me mum.

from that day forward, i have cut myself every single time i have attempted to shave. no joke. the sting of the styptic pencil scares me no longer and my 30-year old legs resemble those of a 6 year old who has climbed too many trees. karma, i suppose for the hasty vanity of a 12-year old. 'course, i think i might have outsmarted karma. i just don't shave.

oh, i do, but so infrequently (usually restricted for weddings or those very rare trips to the beach), it doesn't' really count, and so badly, i might as well not. when i exit the shower after a shaving attempt, there are always errant hairs that have escaped the blade, truants camping out around the ankles and knees.

but today, i found this really cool stuff ON SALE at my local Eckerd's: VEET® Rasera™ Bladeless™ Kit. i decided in homage to this summer's theme to Love My Body/Let It Show i needed to give it a try. (it's easier to love something that's hairless and smooth. studies have been done.) you just slather it on, leave it for 3 minutes, and then scrape it off w/ a bladeless "razor" (it's really just a plastic doohickey that resembles a razor). truth is, it takes just as long as actual shaving, it's probably not as close, and the chemicals caused some unsightly red streaks on my legs (that faded after an hour or so) so i probably won't do it with any more frequency, but it's far less bloody, and i've already ruined so many good towels.

ahh...tonight, i shall climb in between my cotton sheets and dream until the next time i will feel such pleasure...

in december.

3 comments:

honeypumpkin said...

I love that stuff!
after sustaining substantial bloodloss during a "monthly-touchup" - i quickly took to the Veet system.
Hint - don't use the plastic razor and you won't get the red streaks.
I bought a poof thingy just for shaving, and after leaving the cream on for the required 3 mins, i scrub off the stuff with the poof, lathered with my favorite soap.
Results? Much smoother, less red-streaky legs, and no blood.

karma said...

If you want to show people the difference, feel free to invite them over to give mine a little comparison feel. I am only at a few weeks shaveless but I have been blessed with gorilla-leg-hair genes (thanks grandma!)

margrocks said...

hey thanks, honeypumpkin! that's an excellent tip! i happen to have an extra poof hanging in my shower at this very minute. it will be christened the honeypumpkin poof in your honour.

and karma, during the winter, you and i can have a contest - see who can grow their hair the longest, then the person who wins gets a sweater or tea cozy (whichever you prefer) knitted from the hair.